In most religions, the death of a person lasts more than a few days. There is an extended period of rituals and ceremonies after the cremation/burial.
Asthi Visarjan /Immersion of Ashes Places in India-
Children performed end-to-end Asthi Visarjan services in India.
Last Journey was done in India [Asthi Visarjan] Goindwal . Their dad’s ashes were immersed there. They finally at peace now. May God bless their off spring..
The Last Journey Asthi Visarjan Services.
1. Transportation to the place of Asthi Visarjan.
We recognize that the bereaved family is already dealing with a range of emotions and stress. Children themselves that every part of the Asthi Visarjan ritual Services.
2. Experienced Pathi/Pandit.
Asthi Visarjan Services are extremely important because it is your loved one’s final farewell. For a soulful departure, the Pandit performs the requisite havans and pujas. They assigned the most knowledgeable Pandit /Pathi to execute each ceremony according to your caste. They also give some helpful insights that will assist you in healing and praying.
3. Puja Preparations and Samagri.
Since the Asthi Visarjan Services is a religious ceremony, specific holy and auspicious things must be used. The Last Journey crew will make sure that all of the Samagri is set up well ahead of time so that the ceremony can be serene.
4. Ash Cremation Urn or Pot.
The Cremation Urn or Pot will hold the remains of your loved one before the immersion during the Asthi Visarjan Services. It’s a one-of-a-kind item that should encapsulate the lost one’s essence. They choose attractive cremation urns and pots for their mom
5. Dashgatra Vidhi.
This ceremony, which is commonly held on the day after the Asthi Visarjan, is a ritual to pay honor to the lost one’s ancestors. Children made sure that the entire event goes off without a hitch.
Ideal Time For Asthi Visarjan
The most suitable time to collect your loved one’s remains is the third day after the cremation. In case the asthi is to be submerged after 10th day of death, it can only happen once the titha-shraddha ceremony is completed.
Also according to Hindu/Sikh traditions, a ceremony usually takes place on the fourth day from the day of funeral rites also known as Chautha, or on the thirteenth day, Tehravin. The close family of the deceased conducts this ritual in a prayer hall. Distant family and friends and other members of the community gather, giving them the chance to offer their condolences to the family.
Basic Traditions:
The Uthala Ceremony takes place for an hour or two. Invitations are sent out a day before the event. It commences with a song session/bhajans sung by singers or artists followed by a short discourse on spiritual matters. A well-decorated photograph of the deceased is placed. Floral arrangements are made to pay regards to the lost one. The Pandit/Priest announces the death of the lost one and pays respect to the family. A short ritual called Rasam Pagri takes place, in which the eldest surviving male member of the family ties a turban (pagri) on his head. The turban signifies the honor of the family. Following this is a small gathering for tea or lunch.
Meetings in prayer halls are for the peace of the soul. There is a belief that the soul of the departed is still conscious of any emotions on people’s behalf. These rituals assist the spirit of the deceased to obtain a new body for reincarnation. Prayer halls being divine and purity help in this process.
Tehravin refers to the ceremony that marks the final day of the mourning period. It is believed that on this day the soul attains momentum and cuts off all ties with family members to develop a relationship with God. To mark this blissful day al puja or havan is conducted by a pandit/priest followed by a brahman bhoj ceremony. A community feast is also organized for all the friends and family, especially if the deceased was social.
It is also advisable to have funeral decors for such rituals for a soothing and positive spiritual experience. Funeral decors not only set a good ambiance but play a major role in symbolizing the lost one. One can even add personal items as a part of the theme to honor and remember.
Customs References:Funeral & Burial Customs
Refs: https://lingabhairavi.org/
https://www.econdolence.com/
Death and burial customs in the traditions provide a structure for honoring the deceased and offering comfort for the grieving family during the time of loss. As Hinduism upholds the belief of cycles of life through reincarnation, the rituals also prepare the deceased for the life to come.
The belief of karma affects the tone and practice of mourning rituals. By creating a positive atmosphere, the mourning family and friends pass on the merits of good karma to help prepare their loved one for a positive rebirth and future life.
If possible, many family members will attempt to be present during the last hours of the life of the loved one. This important event in the natural life cycle marks the beginning of the transition from one life to the next. The family members will provide support, prayers and mantras in hopes to honor and comfort the dying, support and encourage the family, and create good karma in preparation for the coming life cycle.
Once the Death Occurs
Unless the circumstances of the death or the situation of the family prohibit it, the procedures for the final respects and burial take place within twenty-four hours after the death. According to most Hindu texts, the last rites can only be performed by a male family member. When the oldest surviving family members performs the ceremonies, he is called the karta. Specific circumstances and even changing religious and cultural traditions may allow for participation by a female.
Most Hindu traditions will have the body cleansed immediately after death. Often this ceremonial bathing will be performed by the women in the family. Following the bathing, the body is dressed in simple clothing, adorned with marks of the family and community, and the sacred ash across the forehead. The deceased will usually be dressed in new white clothing. If the deceased is a married woman whose husband is still alive, or an unmarried younger female, the clothing will be either a red or yellow dress. A Hindu priest will be invited to the home to lead in holy mantras and prayers. Both the mantras and the prayers will vary by specific religious tradition.
The body will be prepared for cremation by placing it on a bier, or platform. Immediate family members will scatter flowers all over the body. In addition, they will fill the mouth of the deceased with rice, nourishing the departed soul, and place coins in each hand. The body then will be taken to the cremation center.
In some Hindu traditions, burial is an accepted form for the final resting place of the body. In addition, young children, saints and sanyasi, members of a Hindu religious order that are not permitted to own property, may be buried because they are considered pure. The teaching is that burying the body allows the departed soul to more quickly abandon any attachments to the previous life and move ahead to the next incarnation.
When Should It Be Held
A religious ceremony involving either the cremation or burial of the body is traditionally held within twenty-four hours of the death. In India, exceptions to this may be made, given the circumstances of the death or the individual needs of the family. This religious ceremony is simple and respectful, and usually only the immediate family members will participate.
How Should Respects Be Paid
After the death of a loved one, the family enters into a period of mourning. The first sign of respect for the grief is that no cooking will be performed in the family house until the cremation takes place. An old Hindu saying affirms that the fire in the house is not lit until the fire in the cremation pyre has gone out. Some traditions apply this teaching not only to cooking but to heating and lighting as well.
When hearing of the death, it is appropriate to call or visit the bereaved. Sympathy cards or notes can be sent and can provide a meaningful, lasting expression of compassion. Viewings at a funeral home are not a part of the Hindu tradition. The body will be kept at the family home until cremation or burial, which normally occurs within twenty-four hours.
Friends and extended family will visit the bereaved during the period of intense grief which in many Hindu traditions lasts 13 days. Men should dress casually and simply. No head covering would be necessary. Women also should dress casually, but clothing should cover the arms and legs completely. Modest jewelry is permitted for women. The customary color of mourning is white; black attire would not be considered appropriate in most Hindu traditions.
It is also appropriate for gifts of food to be brought after the burial or cremation, though Hindu traditions vary on the exact menu, especially for those involved in performing the last rites. Traditional Hindu food would be vegetarian, prepared without onion or garlic, and would be pure foods.
It is appropriate to bring a gift of flowers to the home when visiting during the mourning period. If the body is still in the home before burial or cremation, the flowers may be placed at the feet of the deceased. If they are given during the thirteen day mourning period, they should be presented to the karta if possible.
The Antyeshti, or Hindu Funeral Rites
The Antyeshti, or final Hindu funeral rites, will vary slightly according to the religious sect or caste of the deceased. The rites have customs that take place around the body, including the covering of the body with flowers, a lamp placed at the head of the body, and incense being burned in the room. During the ceremony, often officiated by a Hindu priest or by the karta, prayers will be offered and hymns sung.
Water will be sprinkled on the body at various points in the service. Extreme care should be given by all mourners to avoid touching the body, an act of blatant disrespect and impurity. The body is then carried on a stretcher to the area of cremation or burial. People accompanying the body will offer the kirtan, mantras chanted in a hymn-like manner. For many Hindus, it is important that the skull be cracked, urging the departed soul to move on. This is sometimes a significant part of the ceremony.
Non-Hindus are often invited to attend the cremation service. They usually are asked to sit rather than participate, though it is becoming more common to allow guests to participate in any part of the ceremony in which they would feel comfortable.
Final Resting State
The funeral rites are very similar within the various traditions of Hinduism. Most Hindus cremate the dead, though some communities allow burial. Those who cremate make exceptions for young children and devout older believers. These individuals are considered pure and are not needing the purification of burning.
It is customary that on the third day after cremation, the karta goes to the cremation service area and collects the ashes of the deceased. The karta would then see that the ashes were disposed of in a significant river. In India, many still travel to the Ganges River to scatter the ashes there. Today many other rivers have been approved by Hindu leaders for such purposes.
Valmiki mourning rituals will vary according to the sect, caste, circumstances of the family and a variety of other elements. The rituals will reflect a time of service and mourning, showing the family’s dedication to Valmiki teachings, beliefs about death, and honoring the memory of the deceased.
What Happens After Death in the Valmiki Religion
After the cremation service, the family will return home and perform traditional death rituals such as ceremonial bathing. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure.
A local priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. It is often a custom and part of the everyone death ritual for the family to share a meal together and offer prayers for the departed, themselves and their house.
There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. During this time, because the family of the deceased is considered impure, they are bound by several rules of behavior. For example, they will stay primarily in the family home during this time. They are not to attend religious functions or celebrations, and there are certain foods, like sweets, which should not be eaten.
Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. They should not enter a temple or any sacred place, take part in any religious service except for funerals, or read or recite anything from the holy scriptures. They may not visit other family or friends (though the relatives can visit the bereaved) or attend any social functions, like marriages, birthday parties or religious festivities.
During these thirteen days, the family and friends of the deceased are given the freedom to express their grief rather than keep it bottled up inside. Most of the Valmiki mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. It is also key to building positive karma for the deceased.
The family may return to work following the thirteen day period of mourning. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. Such decisions are often based upon the circumstances of the family and the level of their commitment to the traditions of Valmikism.
Year Long Time of Mourning
While the thirteen day intense period of Hindu mourning rituals may involve family and friends, the immediate family of the deceased is considered in mourning for a year following the death of the loved one. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. Some traditions will not allow for a wedding to take place during the year.
Shraddha
On the one-year anniversary of the death of the loved one, a memorial service is held in the family home. Family members have an open invitation to attend the service. Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. Food will be served following the ceremony.
Comforting the Bereaved
It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as an expression of comfort and support. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. It is also appropriate in tradition to send sympathy gifts.
What Are the Stages of Grief?
Grieving the death of a loved one brings waves of different emotions and feelings. One moment you may be feeling anger at the world for its unfairness. The next moment you may simply not believe any of it has really happened. Such a wild swing of emotions is very common.
How we cope with grief is as unique as the individual who has been lost. Jinny Tesik, with the Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, says the way we grieve is as unique as our fingerprints. “No two people will ever grieve the same way, with the same intensity or for the same duration.”
Many psychiatrists and counselors recognize that there are certain threads present in the grieving process for most individuals. The concept of the stages of grief was popularized by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (1926 – 2004) a Swiss American psychiatrist. She was a pioneer in the study of death and was the author of the best-selling book, On Death and Dying, in which she first promoted her theory of five stages of grief.
Kubler-Ross emphasized that the stages are not meant to be a complete list of the emotions that can be felt. She noted that there was no particular order to the stages – that even the progress through the stages is unique to the individual. She would also observe that these stages of grief are present in other extreme, life-altering experiences other than death.
What Are the Stages?
Stage One: Denial and Isolation
Denial is usually the first, although temporary, defense that a person uses to cope with extreme loss. “This cannot be happening to me.” It is usually quickly accompanied by “I feel fine – leave me alone.” Denial is the refusal to accept the facts of the loss, either consciously or unconsciously. If dealing with death is personal, there is a refusal to take necessary steps to prepare for death, such as a will. If the grief is for someone else, the denial is prolonged by refusing to deal with the consequences of the death: visiting the gravesite, getting rid of personal belongings, or even filing necessary paperwork.
Stage Two: Anger
In this stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue indefinitely. “Why is this happening to me? It is not fair!” People become angry with themselves for how they are coping with the death. They become angry at others, often those closest to them, because the presence of friends often forces them to deal with the emotions. They become angry at a higher power, seeking someone with authority and power to blame for not preventing the death.
Stage Three: Bargaining
Another stage in the grieving process is an attempt to bargain for hope of an extended life. If it is personal, it is likely to be negotiated with a higher power. “Just let me see the birth of my grandchild.” “If you get me through this, I promise I will be a better person.” In this stage, the person understands that death is real, but there is an attempt made to dodge it or delay it.
Stage Four: Depression
During this fourth stage of grief, the person begins to understand and dwell on the certainty and reality of death. “What is the point of going on?” It is at this point that many individuals become completely stuck. The person may become sullen and silent, refuse to interact with anyone, and spend most of the time alone, crying uncontrollably. This process often allows the dying person to disconnect from the things and people of value.
Stage Five: Acceptance
In the final stage, the individual begins to figure a way to come to grips with their own mortality or that of their loved one. “I cannot escape this; I may as well become prepared for it.” The person who moves into this stage often feels an incredible sense of dignity and peace in their ability to cope with the inevitable.
How Long Do the Stages Last?
If grief comes in stages, we immediately want to know how long the stages will last. We want to know when the pain and sadness that travels alongside the loss will subside. The answer to that question is dependent upon many variables. First, an individual does not have to go through each of the stages in order to heal from the grieving process.
How long a stage or the entire process will take will vary for each individual. Several factors are involved in the process. How a loved one died, when they died, what their relationship was to us, how our personality tends to respond to change and loss and other circumstances going on in our life will all influence how long the grieving process will take.
Another factor that can influence the amount of time that grieving takes is the amount and quality of support that the individual receives from family and friends. A support system that offers encouragement, nurturing and care will allow for sharing about the loss and will promote healing.
Is it Possible to be Stuck in a Stage?
Movement through the stages of grief is extremely fluid. Anger may give way to depression, only to see anger become prominent again for a time. Recent studies indicate that if a person stays in one place for more than six months, there is a strong chance that professional help will be needed to assure healthy progress through grief.
If the pain associated with the loss is so persistent and severe that it hinders you from returning to a normal life, you may be stuck in a stage which is known as complicated grief. Some of the symptoms of complicated grief include intense longing for the deceased, denial of the death of the deceased, and extreme anger or bitterness over the loss. It is difficult to distinguish between complicated grief and clinical depression because the symptoms are so similar. If these feelings persist for several months, make every effort to seek professional guidance and help.
Understanding Bereavement
Bereavement is the immediate period of grief and mourning experienced after a death. It is the state of having suffered a loss. The length of time that bereavement lasts varies, dependent upon many factors, including how close a relationship the bereaved has with the deceased, an individual’s personality and coping skills, and the experiences surrounding the death.
Grief or grieving is the natural period of mourning that takes place following a loss. Some will use the terms bereavement and grief as synonyms. Technically, bereavement is the intense period of loss immediately following the death and is usually of a limited duration of time. Grief is more encompassing and may last much longer.
Mourning is the outward expression of grief. While mourning may include tears and a solemn nature, it is also affected by an individual’s culture and personality. Some religions and cultures have specific rituals through which the dead are honored and the survivors are comforted. Because every loss is different, the expressions of mourning will be different for every individual.
Bereavement and mourning are a part of the grieving process. The bereaved are the individuals who are most powerfully impacted by the loss of the loved one. While the immediate family is most often the majority of the bereaved, the group may also include extended family and some of the closest of friends and co-workers.
Coping is the way people respond to stress. Coping is a way that an individual attempts to maintain balance and structure in life. The things that cause stress may vary according to an individual’s personality and circumstances, but they almost always involve change. While some positive events may cause stress, the events most often have a negative impact upon the individual. Death is one of the most potent sources of stress and require special kinds of coping techniques.
Grief can cause reactions within the mental, emotional, physical and social realms of an individual. Mental and emotional responses may include anger, anxiety or fear, and guilt. Physical reactions can include illness, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, and muscular aches and pains.
How to Cope with Loss
Experiencing grief and coping with the loss of an important person in life is difficult. Grieving is a very unique response to loss because the impact that a loss has is also personal and unique. The circumstances surrounding each death is also exclusive to each loss.
How an individual copes with death is unique to the circumstances. The methods or strategies that may help to deal with the stress of bereavement and mourning are called coping mechanisms. These responses which attempt to balance emotions and health will vary and depend on past experiences with grief, the relationship shared with the deceased and the circumstances of the death, and the personality of the one grieving. Factors that play a role include religion and culture, the support of family and friends, and other responsibilities of life may affect the time, duration and characteristics of the coping strategies.
When grieving, it is helpful to understand that there is no standard time length or methods that are considered the “norm”. There are many resources outlining the various stages of grief and coping providing differing viewpoints and perspectives, but all are consistent in emphasizing that grieving is a process that takes time. Those grieving may share some characteristics often referred to as stages of grief. Some people will grieve for a few weeks, others for months, while others may find themselves in a grieving process that lasts multiple years.
Ways to Cope with Bereavement and Mourning
There are many ways to cope with grief. Some methods may provide temporary relief by avoiding or ignoring the real causes and issues. More positive methods give relief in the present while providing opportunities to work through the actual problem.
Below are common ways that may be used when coping with grief:
- Listening to music
- Playing with pets or animals
- Writing, painting or other creative activities
- Involvement in religious organizations or charities
- Personal spiritual reflection, meditation and prayer
- Gardening or home projects
- Service to others
- Exercise or physical activity
Support from others is an important positive factor in coping with the grief of bereavement and mourning, though it is natural to want to push family and friends away and to process grief alone. Finding ways to interact with others in any kind of activity will set the stage for healing.
How Long to Grieve?
There is no limit to the length of time that grief and bereavement may affect an individual. It is important and recommended to pay close attention to the severity and intensity of the grief. During the grieving process friends and family may want to pay particular attention to the level of interruption that such grief has on an individual’s life. It is normal to feel upset, depressed, weak, numb, sad or otherwise unhappy following the loss of a loved one. If these emotions intensify and persist for many months, interrupting a daily routine, there may be deeper problems. It may then be advisable to seek professional grief counseling and guidance.
Grief that persists demonstrating an intense state of mourning should not be overlooked. Examples of such mourning may include denying the death of a loved one for many months, avoiding otherwise happy scenarios because of the memories of the lost loved one, feeling extremely angry or bitter about the loss, or becoming preoccupied with the person long after the death has occurred. These may be signs that professional help may be needed and the simple support from friends and family members just may not be enough.
Visiting the Cemetery
An important part of the grieving process in any religion is to honor the deceased by remembering the loved one and visiting the body’s final resting place. Religions and cultures often have rituals and traditions about how often and when the cemetery should be visited. Many religions stress the balance of respecting the memory of those who have passed away with continuing living life with a hope for the future.
Respect & Remembrance
Hinduism has many sects and strands of beliefs and traditions. Many of those traditions include cremation as the means of preparing the body for its final resting place. The ashes are placed in an urn and returned to the family home for the initial period of mourning, usually lasting thirteen days. Family and friends who wish to pay final respects to the immediate family and honor the deceased do so by visiting the home during those days.
At the end of the mourning period, the ashes are often scattered into a significant river in the Hindu tradition. On anniversaries or significant holidays, it would be appropriate to go to the river and remember the deceased. The constant movement of the river could be a reminder of the constant flow of the cycles of life. The thoughts could include the contributions the deceased made to the lives of those in the family and community.
In certain circumstances Hindu traditions allow for the burial of the body. This often involves younger children, older individuals who lived saintly lives, and some other special circumstances. Visiting the cemetery and grave site of the deceased is a meaningful way to show respect for the departed and to allow the family to be assured that their loved one is not forgotten.
The grave site may be visited on an anniversary, holiday or any time that is meaningful for the individuals who are mourning. Flowers are always an appropriate symbol of respect and remembrance and may be placed at the grave site. Hindu traditions would not prohibit visiting the cemetery during feast times, though some holidays would be less appropriate than others because of the nature of the celebration.
Scriptures
The basic sacred texts of Hinduism are known together as the Sanatana Dharma. They are a collection of spiritual truths and laws discovered by teachers at points throughout Hinduism’s history. The truths were passed from generation to generation until eventually written down in the Sanskrit language. The most popular Hindu scriptures Bhagavad Gita, the Upanishads, Vedas, and the epics of Ramayana and Mahabharata.
Truths
The Hindu worldview in two foundational doctrines, samsara (the cycle of rebirth) and karma (the universal law of cause and effect). Together they hold that one’s thoughts and actions have a direct impact on how one’s life and future lives will play out. Most sects of Hinduism hold to five main principles and ten practices of dharma, or the universal law that sustains society.
Five Principles or Strands
Many see five elements or principles that have given shape to the Hindu traditions: doctrine, society, practice, story and devotion. These principles are seen as relating to one another as strands in a braid.
- One absolute deity. The one supreme being can be seen in many different manifestations.
- All humans are divine. Everyone has a portion of the divine within. The ultimate goal is to become eternally united with the divine.
- Mankind is to strive for unity of existence through love.
- All are to practice religious harmony. Hindus have a genuine respect for other faiths. Many of the traditions accept that all religions are essentially different paths searching for the same truth.
- There should be a dedication to knowledge of 3 G’s – Ganga (the sacred river), Gita (the sacred Scriptures), and Gayatri (the sacred mantra).
Ten Disciplines
- Satya – the value and importance of truth
- Ahimsa – commitment to non-violence
- Brahmacharya – commitment to a celibate life until marriage, then a non-adulterous life
- Asteya – no desire to possess things or to steal things
- Aparighara – a commitment to a non-corrupt lifestyle
- Shaucha – a commitment to cleanliness
- Santosh – a commitment to contentment
- Swadhyaya – the reading of scriptures
- Tapas – a lifestyle of perseverance, penance, and austerity
- Ishwarpranidhan – daily offering of prayers
Death & Mourning
Death is seen in most traditions of Hinduism as a natural part of the life cycle events, which are very important in their belief system. Birth rites are the first of those events, which include baby showers and many of a child’s “firsts” – like first time out of the house, eating solid food, steps, ear piercing and haircut. Other life cycle events are designated at weddings, child birth, and death.
Like most religions, Hinduism has well-defined rituals for honoring the dead and supporting the family during their time of grief. The specific practices will vary greatly from sect to sect, and may also incorporate cultural and political preferences. In India, the traditions regarding death and mourning may also be influenced by the nation’s caste system.
After Life
The traditions of Hinduism vary greatly on the understanding of the afterlife. Most traditions believe that the entire universe undergoes endless cycles of creation, preservation and destruction. They believe strongly in karma, the idea that every action has a corresponding reaction. They would see that a person’s thoughts and actions can affect the placement in the next life cycle. They see the soul reincarnating many times and in many cycles until all karmas have come to a resolution.
The release from these cycles of life is called moksha and is the ultimate desire. The individual who attains this is absorbed into the Brahman in the same way small tributaries are absorbed into a river. When this occurs, rebirth stops, one is released from the cycle and becomes one with Brahman forever.
Traditions, Customs & Rituals
In most Hindu traditions, the rituals involved in honoring the deceased are performed within a twenty-four hour period of the death. Circumstances and convenience may affect these customs, as in the case when a parent dies and children have to return a great distance to mourn the passing.
In many of the scared Hindu texts, the last rites for an individual can only be performed by a male family member. Some traditions allow for a putrika, a time when a daughter assumes the role of the son. The last rites include a variety of traditions of honor and preparation of the body, prayers and mantras. While cremation is the preferred tradition of most Hindu sects, there are some schools of Hindu thought which practice burial.
Following the burial or cremation, family members will return home, bathe and change into fresh clothes. Some traditions will put away or destroy the clothes worn following a death. A Hindu priest may visit the home, console the family and purify the house with prayers, mantra and incense.
Grief & Mourning
The specific rituals for honoring the deceased vary within Hindu traditions and are dependent upon a number of variables including religious and political practices. The cremation or burial begins a mourning period for the family which lasts thirteen days in many traditions. During the mourning period, the family stays in the home. Friends and distant family members visit the home during these days, building good karma and comforting the bereaved.
The year anniversary of the death is marked by a ritual called “sraddha” which honors the deceased. The oldest surviving male relative, called the karta, will invite members of the highest spiritual organizations to the home, providing them with an elaborate meal and treating them as he would his own parents. Some traditions have the family refrain from participating in any festival or celebration until the sraddha is observed.
Telling the Sad News to Others
Sharing information about the death of someone is never an easy task. There are a few guidelines that can assure that sensitivity and respect prevail. Inform the closest family members in person if at all possible. When breaking the news to out-of-town immediate family members, make sure that the person being called is not alone when you speak.
Put together a list of people and organizations that need to be contacted. People to include on the list are distant family members, friends, employers (of both the deceased and immediate family members), peers, organization members and neighbors. The synagogue, former employers, organizations that the deceased actively supported, and educational facilities such as the alma mater would be among the businesses to be contacted.
Delegate family members to make the phone calls. From a traditional stand point, be sensitive and understand your audience if considering to send texts and emails.
Funeral & Burial Customs
Death and burial customs in the Hindu traditions provide a structure for honoring the deceased and offering comfort for the grieving family during the time of loss. As Hinduism upholds the belief of cycles of life through reincarnation, the rituals also prepare the deceased for the life to come.
The Hindu belief of karma affects the tone and practice of mourning rituals. By creating a positive atmosphere, the mourning family and friends pass on the merits of good karma to help prepare their loved one for a positive rebirth and future life.
If possible, many Hindu family members will attempt to be present during the last hours of the life of the loved one. This important event in the natural life cycle marks the beginning of the transition from one life to the next. The family members will provide support, prayers and mantras in hopes to honor and comfort the dying, support and encourage the family, and create good karma in preparation for the coming life cycle.
Once the Death Occurs
Unless the circumstances of the death or the situation of the family prohibit it, the procedures for the final respects and burial take place within twenty-four hours after the death. According to most Hindu texts, the last rites can only be performed by a male family member. When the oldest surviving family members performs the ceremonies, he is called the karta. Specific circumstances and even changing religious and cultural traditions may allow for participation by a female.
Most Hindu traditions will have the body cleansed immediately after death. Often this ceremonial bathing will be performed by the women in the family. Following the bathing, the body is dressed in simple clothing, adorned with marks of the family and community, and the sacred ash across the forehead. The deceased will usually be dressed in new white clothing. If the deceased is a married woman whose husband is still alive, or an unmarried younger female, the clothing will be either a red or yellow dress. A Hindu priest will be invited to the home to lead in holy mantras and prayers. Both the mantras and the prayers will vary by specific religious tradition.
The body will be prepared for cremation by placing it on a bier, or platform. Immediate family members will scatter flowers all over the body. In addition, they will fill the mouth of the deceased with rice, nourishing the departed soul, and place coins in each hand. The body then will be taken to the cremation center.
In some Hindu traditions, burial is an accepted form for the final resting place of the body. In addition, young children, saints and sanyasi, members of a Hindu religious order that are not permitted to own property, may be buried because they are considered pure. The teaching is that burying the body allows the departed soul to more quickly abandon any attachments to the previous life and move ahead to the next incarnation.
When Should It Be Held
A religious ceremony involving either the cremation or burial of the body is traditionally held within twenty-four hours of the death. In India, exceptions to this may be made, given the circumstances of the death or the individual needs of the family. This religious ceremony is simple and respectful, and usually only the immediate family members will participate.
How Should Respects Be Paid
After the death of a loved one, the family enters into a period of mourning. The first sign of respect for the grief is that no cooking will be performed in the family house until the cremation takes place. An old Hindu saying affirms that the fire in the house is not lit until the fire in the cremation pyre has gone out. Some traditions apply this teaching not only to cooking but to heating and lighting as well.
When hearing of the death, it is appropriate to call or visit the bereaved. Sympathy cards or notes can be sent and can provide a meaningful, lasting expression of compassion. Viewings at a funeral home are not a part of the Hindu tradition. The body will be kept at the family home until cremation or burial, which normally occurs within twenty-four hours.
Friends and extended family will visit the bereaved during the period of intense grief which in many Hindu traditions lasts 13 days. Men should dress casually and simply. No head covering would be necessary. Women also should dress casually, but clothing should cover the arms and legs completely. Modest jewelry is permitted for women. The customary color of mourning is white; black attire would not be considered appropriate in most Hindu traditions.
It is also appropriate for gifts of food to be brought after the burial or cremation, though Hindu traditions vary on the exact menu, especially for those involved in performing the last rites. Traditional Hindu food would be vegetarian, prepared without onion or garlic, and would be pure foods.
It is appropriate to bring a gift of flowers to the home when visiting during the mourning period. If the body is still in the home before burial or cremation, the flowers may be placed at the feet of the deceased. If they are given during the thirteen day mourning period, they should be presented to the karta if possible.
The Antyeshti, or Hindu Funeral Rites
The Antyeshti, or final Hindu funeral rites, will vary slightly according to the religious sect or caste of the deceased. The rites have customs that take place around the body, including the covering of the body with flowers, a lamp placed at the head of the body, and incense being burned in the room. During the ceremony, often officiated by a Hindu priest or by the karta, prayers will be offered and hymns sung.
Water will be sprinkled on the body at various points in the service. Extreme care should be given by all mourners to avoid touching the body, an act of blatant disrespect and impurity. The body is then carried on a stretcher to the area of cremation or burial. People accompanying the body will offer the kirtan, mantras chanted in a hymn-like manner. For many Hindus, it is important that the skull be cracked, urging the departed soul to move on. This is sometimes a significant part of the ceremony.
Non-Hindus are often invited to attend the cremation service. They usually are asked to sit rather than participate, though it is becoming more common to allow guests to participate in any part of the ceremony in which they would feel comfortable.
Final Resting State
The funeral rites are very similar within the various traditions of Hinduism. Most Hindus cremate the dead, though some communities allow burial. Those who cremate make exceptions for young children and devout older believers. These individuals are considered pure and are not needing the purification of burning.
It is customary that on the third day after cremation, the karta goes to the cremation service area and collects the ashes of the deceased. The karta would then see that the ashes were disposed of in a significant river. In India, many still travel to the Ganges River to scatter the ashes there. Today many other rivers have been approved by Hindu leaders for such purposes.
Valmiki mourning rituals will vary according to the sect, caste, circumstances of the family and a variety of other elements. The rituals will reflect a time of service and mourning, showing the family’s dedication to Valmiki teachings, beliefs about death, and honoring the memory of the deceased.
What Happens After Death in the Valmiki Religion
After the cremation service, the family will return home and perform traditional death rituals such as ceremonial bathing. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure.
A local priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. It is often a custom and part of the everyone death ritual for the family to share a meal together and offer prayers for the departed, themselves and their house.
There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. During this time, because the family of the deceased is considered impure, they are bound by several rules of behavior. For example, they will stay primarily in the family home during this time. They are not to attend religious functions or celebrations, and there are certain foods, like sweets, which should not be eaten.
Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. They should not enter a temple or any sacred place, take part in any religious service except for funerals, or read or recite anything from the holy scriptures. They may not visit other family or friends (though the relatives can visit the bereaved) or attend any social functions, like marriages, birthday parties or religious festivities.
During these thirteen days, the family and friends of the deceased are given the freedom to express their grief rather than keep it bottled up inside. Most of the Valmiki mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. It is also key to building positive karma for the deceased.
The family may return to work following the thirteen day period of mourning. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. Such decisions are often based upon the circumstances of the family and the level of their commitment to the traditions of Valmikism.
Year Long Time of Mourning
While the thirteen day intense period of Hindu mourning rituals may involve family and friends, the immediate family of the deceased is considered in mourning for a year following the death of the loved one. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. Some traditions will not allow for a wedding to take place during the year.
Shraddha
On the one-year anniversary of the death of the loved one, a memorial service is held in the family home. Family members have an open invitation to attend the service. Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. Food will be served following the ceremony.
Comforting the Bereaved
It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as an expression of comfort and support. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. It is also appropriate in tradition to send sympathy gifts.
The activities of the mourning period.
The cremation is considered the last of the samskara s. What now follows continues the effect of the samskara s in effecting and signaling an individual’s movement from one culturally defined stage of being to another, but now the locus of the individual’s life, now his or her life in death, is removed progressively further and further from house, household, and city.
Following the cremation there is an elaborate cycle of postdeath ceremonies and procedures. Those taking place in the ten days immediately following the death and ending when the family is purified of its postdeath pollution are called the dasa kriya , the “ten works.”[64] In the subsequent months and years there is another series of special ceremonies on various anniversaries of the death, as well as the special observances incumbent on or optional for bereaved people during the course of the festival year, which we have noted in our discussions of the annual cycle. We will only outline these ceremonies here, noting some details that bear on other aspects of this study.
The dasa kriya period revolves around the activities of the kriya putra and the evolution of the spirit of the deceased person. The kriya putra remains on the cheli alone or, sometimes, accompanied by a male member of the household. During this period the kriya putra wears only a loincloth, wrapping himself in a shawl if it is cold, cooks his own food, sleeps on a straw or wool mat on the ground, and does not shave. He is unable to touch anyone except the man who may keep him company, and is thus even more polluted than the household and phuki members who also have been polluted by the death.
On each day of the mourning period the kriya putra boils rice at home and carries it to the river, taking care not to touch anyone. In upper-level thars the kriya putra is accompanied in his trips to the river by a man from the borderline clean Bha thar who will later, on the tenth day, consume rice that has been in contact with the corpse to ensure that the spirit will take a human form (chap. 10). The Bha carries flowers, colored pigment, and other materials that are to be used in worship. The Bha is also supposed to instruct the kriya putra at the riverside in the proper steps of the worship.[65] The Bha makes a linga[*] out of a kind of clay that comes from some distance below the earth to represent Siva as the deity “Hatakesvara[*] ,”[66] a god said to dwell under the earth. Offerings of milk and water are poured into small terracotta dishes placed on either side of the linga[*] . A clay waterpot with a hole in the bottom is placed on a tripod over the linga[*] and an “umbrella” formed from kusa grass is placed in the pot. Each morning the kriya putra takes river water and puts it into the clay pot, where it slowly drips through the hole onto the linga[*] . It is said that the Siva linga[*] represents the deceased person. The water is said to cool the spirit of the dead person, which is in its preta form.[67] Now the kriya putra forms the rice into three bails—called pya(n) in Newari or pinda[*] in Sanskrit[68] —as offerings to (in the following order) the crow, the dog, and, finally, the preta . The pinda[*] offered to the preta is both an offering to and a representation of the dead person, as is the case with pindas[*] in all the subsequent death ceremonies.[69] The three pindas[*] are then given various offerings. Finally, the kriya putra throws the crow pinda[*] across the river as food for the crows, puts the dog pinda[*] on the near river bank as food for the dogs, and throws the preta pinda[*] onto the mud in the center of the river (if the river is low as it is during much of the year), where it is supposed to be picked up and supposedly eaten by the same Po(n) who was also responsible for taking the funeral cloths from the cremation grounds.
The kriya putra then returns to his home. He cooks his own food, restricting himself to one meal a day. He is supposed to spend his time there reading sections of the Garuda[*] Purana[*] dealing with life after death.
On the fourth day of the mourning period close friends, relatives, and members of the death guthi come to the cheli to talk with the kriya putra .[70] A focal day in the course of the dasa kriya is, depending on the thar , the fifth or seventh day.[71] On this day a married-out daughter of the household (or, if there is none, of the phuki ) returns to the house, and goes to the cheli , where she boils rice. She forms the rice into three portions, and places them in three bamboo baskets. Two of the portions are simply lumps (in contrast to the variously shaped pinda[*] ), but the third is often formed into the shape of a body. This third por-
tion is given to a Jugi who will come to the house on this day, the same Jugi who earlier gathered the death clothes at the chwasa . This offering is called the “giving of the fifth-day (or seventh-day) body.” The three portions of rice are offerings, but the portion offered to the Jugi, which is called the preta bali , the preta sacrificial offering, also represents the preta itself. The Jugi’s act might be thought to represent an agent in the forming of the preta’s body, as are in that case explicitly, the activities of the Bha on the tenth day after death. One of the other two portions is brought by the daughter to the riverside, where it is left as an offering to the crows. Late at night the third portion, called the pakha ja , or the “boiled rice of the roof eaves,”[72] is brought from the cheli and placed outside of the house at the pikha lakhu boundary. It is left there for a while, sometimes only a few minutes, and sometimes throughout the night. It is said that the hungry preta is waiting outside the house to be fed. Household members keep watch in order to prevent dogs from disturbing the rice. Then, in a further distancing movement, the pakha ja is brought to the river—for upper-status thars by a Jyapu client—and thrown into it.
The kriya putra continues his daily dasa kriya activities on the fifth or seventh day, and on the following days. On the tenth day following the cremation a ceremony is held at the riverbank, an elaboration of the kriya putra’s daily morning offering. The ceremony, which includes offerings of food and drink to the spirit and the construction of pindas[*] , is the first of a long series of such ceremonies called sraddhas ,[73] rites characterized by offerings and the making of pindas[*] .[74] For the upper-level thars the Bha who has attended the kriya putra on each morning is again present to help prepare and (traditionally) to direct the offerings. All members of the phuki are supposed to attend this tenth-day sraddha[*] .
Now, in part because of the successful performance of the dasa kriya , the spirit of the dead person is said to have its full human form, and to be no longer a preta .[75] The purification procedures that terminate the period of the dasa kriya begin at this point. These purifications are called du bya(n)nkegu , the “du ” purification.[76] At least one man and woman representing each of the phuki households is supposed to come to the river for purification. After they have all purified themselves, the kriya putra , finally, does his own purification. Other members of the phuki will be purified at home or at the house of a Nau.
After the du bya(n)kegu at the river there is a ceremony during which the kriya putra , facing west toward the setting sun, makes an offering of water and guta grass (Cynodon dactylon ) to the sun. The kriya putra’s purohita stands in front of him, and thus also, to his west, and the kriya putra circumambulates him three times, “being careful not to step on the purohita’s shadow.” A Nau stands near by with a ceremonial mirror. He hands it to the purohita , bowing in respect, and the purohita presents it to the kriya putra , who shows the mirror to the sun, and then looks into it at himself.[77] The other phuki members now worship the sun. Now, having become purified and having worshiped the sun, they will be able to worship (but still not touch until the time of the still-to-come sapinda[*] sraddha[*] ) other deities.[78] Now the purohita hands the kriya putra a set of white mourning clothes that he will wear during the following year until the first annual anniversary of the death.[79]
At sunset on this tenth day, the du bya(n)nkegu purification having been completed earlier in the day, the kriya putrs accompanied by two or three phuki members goes to the river. They place on the riverbank on the river’s far side, fragments of beaten rice (the same material that was offered to the preta just prior to cremation), two oil-lamp wicks, and some sprigs of kusa . These are offerings to the dead person who is now beginning a journey to the realm of Yama, where his or her karma -based post-death transformation will be effected. On the fifth or seventh day after death the preta had been given offerings in the cremation grounds, outside the house, and at the near bank of the river. It now moves still further off in its more human, less uncanny, ethereally embodied state.
After the river offerings have been made, substantial gifts[80] are given to the Bha. These include the item of food that he is to eat that will aid the human formation of the spirit’s ethereal and, in some accounts, its eventually reincarnated body.
As darkas the darkest night, a pair of glowing eyes that penetrate deep into the recess of your heart, a gloriously sparkling Third Eye that perceives a dimension beyond the physical, graciously giving arms that bestow infinite Grace to all in need, a pure gold sari that reflects her grandeur – Linga Bhairavi is the most exuberant expression of the Divine Feminine, residing in a triangular-shaped abode at the Velliangiri Foothills.
Unique in her manifestation in the form of a linga, the eight feet tall Devi was consecrated by Sadhguru as a powerful energy form with a solidified mercury core. The consecration of Linga Bhairavi was conducted through prana pratishtha, a rare mystical process that uses life energies to transform mere stone into a deity.
Refined and raw, powerful and colorful, earthy, humane and mother-like, Linga Bhairavi is an absolute woman of ultimate proportions, fierce and compassionate at once. Representing the creative and nurturing aspects of the universe, she is the ultimate manifestation of the Mother Goddess – powerful and all-encompassing. Whether a devotee seeks to acquire, enjoy, or transcend the physical and material aspects of life – Devi is the Ultimate Giver of all that and more.
The energy of Linga Bhairavi strengthens the three basic chakras in the human system; thus stabilizing one’s body, mind and energy system. For all those who seek to live life intensely, Devi’s Presence and Grace will assist in the process. If one allows her Grace to function, life will happen in such exuberance that the longing to transcend the physical and touch the spiritual will naturally arise. For those who aspire for spiritual wellbeing, the benevolent Goddess helps in overcoming obstacles on the path and delivers them to the realm of Ultimate Liberation.
Various offerings are available in this space to allow devotees to benefit from Devi’s abundant Grace. There are unique rituals that assist in every step that one takes in life, from birth to death and in-between. These rituals are designed to ensure that every life experience becomes a possibility to be touched by the Divine.
